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Archive for the ‘Grief’ Category

I have a story to tell about this mug and this flower. You may think I’m kinda’ crazy but, well…..

My youngest son Jonathan gave me this mug one day. I don’t remember if it was for an occasion or for no occasion at all. He often surprised me with gifts ❤️ He was taken from us on July 7th, 2015, at the age of 22 in a horrific automobile accident. I have never been the same since that day.

This past Mother’s Day weekend we traveled to Indianapolis, Indiana, to attend a funeral service for an extended family member and also to spend time with family from California who had flown in for the service.

We decided to stay at a hotel rather than with family for this visit. I REALLY don’t like to drink my coffee from a styrofoam or paper cup. Call me crazy, but it just doesn’t taste the same. Ok, I admit it, I am a “coffee snob”. So I packed this coffee mug with the word MOM on it to use at the hotel.

My morning coffee tasted so much better; maybe it’s psychological but, for whatever reason, it was a huge improvement over the styrofoam cup.

I should also mention that my son Jonathan also liked to give me flowers. In fact, he gave me flowers for Mother’s Day just a couple of months before he left.

We were checking out of the hotel on Sunday morning, Mother’s Day, when the desk clerk said “I see from your mug that you are a Mom, so Happy Mother’s Day!” And he handed me the flower you see in the photo.

As I looked down at that flower I realized that it was because of Jonathan that I had received it. I leaned over and whispered to my husband “Jon is still giving me flowers!”

I may be thought crazy for saying this but I do believe that Jon had something to do with blessing me on this Mother’s Day in 2019 – 4 years after he died. I thank God for allowing it.

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Grief

Jon dancing with Rachel

No matter where I am

No matter what I’m doingI

There is an ache in my heart

for you, my son, Jonathan.

This may sound strange, but I want that ache; because it represents the love we had for each other, the many happy memories we shared. The ache is all I have left of you and I don’t want it to go away. I didn’t want you to go away but I could not keep that from happening. I must cling to this heartache because it represents your presence. How I long to see you again, but, for now, I will just keep this ache.

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